What Happens When You Squeeze a Chihuahua?

            I have taken CPR (Comical Pastoral Resuscitation) classes on two occasions. After each one, I was certified to save people for twelve months . . .  especially if they looked like a department-store mannequin and had a plastic hose sticking out of their chest, clear plastic wrap over their mouth,  a permanent smile, and no personality. In layman’s terms, it simply meant I was qualified to jump on top of people, pinch their nostrils, blow into their mouth, and beat their chest.

            It is similar to what they do at weddings in some isolated areas of West Texas instead of exchanging vows. This kind of training comes in handy when you happen upon someone who is choking (like the ’86 Red Sox) or someone suffering from cardiac arrest, where the heart is stopped for making a U-turn. It is not to be confused with Gomer’s condition on the Andy Griffith Show, which was called “citizen’s arrest.”

            What’s really scary about this whole CPR thing is that it can be used on pets. (If you own a cat please keep in mind that the process could be delayed because your cat would insist his attorney draw up liability papers.) Now don’t get me wrong; I love my dogs. But the mental picture of me putting my mouth on one of them is wrong on so many levels. One of my Chihuahuas, Paisley, is 10 years old. Her breath always smells like she just ate a walrus. I don’t want to put my finger in her mouth to clear out any foreign objects. She’s not from around here. Of course there are foreign objects. And I am not about to pinch her nostrils and blow into her mouth. She’d either bite me or ask me to take her to dinner.

            Gracie, our emergency Chihuahua is even smaller. My finger would barely fit into her mouth. If I blew into her mouth she’d blow up. And what’s this business about giving them the Heimlich maneuver if they are choking?  There’s another picture I don’t want the neighbors to see: me squeezing a Chihuahua. Anyway, if I squeezed Gracie like that she’d shoot across the room.

            We probably don’t have many occasions to give CPR to people in trouble but we more than likely see people every day who need a jump-start on their spiritual heart. We may see them simply by looking in the mirror. It is amazing what a breath of fresh air can do for the stale and stagnant heart in getting rid of obstructions. Know anyone who is choking on the food offered by the world when all they need is to taste the Bread of Life?

            What they need is CPR – Christ-Promised Refuge. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me (John 7:37 NRSV). “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10). “Look at the birds of the air; they do not reap or sow or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26 NIV).

            All are promising words from Jesus about rest, refuge, and resuscitation. We need to share them with others. When we do share, we can’t ignore the “Chihuahuas” in life, those who may appear to be the most disgusting. We can’t be choosy.

            Are you trained in CPR – Christ-Promised Refuge? If you are a Christian you are . . . and the world is your classroom.