WHAT WILL YOU GOD THIS CHRISTMAS?

            There is a popular style of literature called “alternative history.” This format is especially popular when the subject is the Civil War or World War II. What if there were alternative historical characters? There was the Roman Emperor who always seemed to have a cold. His name was Julius Sneezer. What about the French Emperor who let the stress of conquering the  world eventually get to him and he came unglued? That was Napoleon Fellapart.

            Then there was the American cavalry general who fought the plains Indians in the  late 19th century by serving them fresh pies. That was George Armstrong Custard. What about the French heroine of the One Hundred Years War who started out studying to be a tree surgeon? Joan of Bark. Finally, there was the English novelist who was sick all of the time. His name was George Ornotsowell.

            Animals give us some of the strangest facts in nature. Did you know that a cat has 32 muscles in each ear? None of those 32 muscles are used when you try to tell him what to do. You can tell a turtle’s gender by the noise it makes. Males grunt, females hiss. Not that much different from humans.

            Owls have  small brains. They make great Ministers of Education. Humpback whales use bubbles to hunt. That’s why they should never be allowed in a bathtub with a men’s softball team. Pigeons can do math, but why they target statues just doesn’t add up. Some male songbirds sing more than 2,000 times each day, twice that if they are on the church Praise Team.

             A group of owls is called a parliament, while a group of donkeys is called a congress. A group of whales is called a pod. If they are self-centered they are called iPods. Finally, Koala fingerprints are so close to that of humans that they could taint evidence at a crime scene. This is why you never see Koala bears driving the van or taking crime scene photos on N.C.I.S.

            History can sometimes be misunderstood or even written with an alternative point of view. Facts can sometimes be twisted. Do you think you know a lot about the Bible? For the Christian, we must rely on God’s Word. There is no alternative. We must get the facts straight. As of today, there  are  only 17 days until Christmas. I know you’ve been giving a lot of thought as to what to get your family members for Christmas.  That’s good. That’s fun. That’s part of Christmas.

            Here’s another perspective. Have you given any thought to what you may give God this Christmas?  Darius Rucker posed that question in his 2014 song, “What God Wants for Christmas.”  One of the lines says, “What might put a smile on his face, every Bible with no dust.” Wow! Wouldn’t that be an awesome gift to God if every Christian decided to wipe the dust off of his Bible and really study it. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you.” Proverbs 30:5-6 says, “Every word of God proves true; do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.”

            The Bible says everything it needs to say. We don’t need to add to it or take away from it. We don’t need to create an alternative interpretation to make certain passages fit our personal agenda. We just need to study it and live it. What a great gift that would be for God this Christmas. It really would be the gift that keeps on giving.