Detours on the Road from Heart to the Mouth
Detours on the Road from Heart to the Mouth

The surviving food from our holiday onslaught has now made its way out of our home. I watched as a little nuclear caravan formed at our refrigerator and made a quick trip to our neighbor’s backyard. After presents, food is the most popular part of the holiday season. For that we can be grateful we live in the United States where our normal holiday diet consists of turkey, ham, cornbread dressing, smashed potatoes, cheese dip, and a roast beef sandwich with peanut butter and jelly on it.

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Tina Baker
Ever Get the Feeling That the Whole World is a Formal Dinner, and You are Ernest T Bass?
Ever Get the Feeling That the Whole World is a Formal Dinner, and You are Ernest T Bass?

I have been to New York City . . . or to put it in the vernacular of the “Andy Griffith Show,” Gomer has gone to Raleigh. It was the most eye-opening, tension-filled, knuckle- whitening, brain-draining, mind-numbing, ear-piercing experience of my life . . . and that was just the bus ride with our senior adults several years ago. Once we got to New York everything was fine, except for the traffic.

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Tina Baker
A Dog, a Cat, a Mouse, and Snakes in a Tub
A Dog, a Cat, a Mouse, and Snakes in a Tub

In case you missed the story, the United States Navy shot down one of our spy satellites several years ago. Don’t worry. It deserved to be shot down. It was broken and a threat to crash to earth and spread toxic gas everywhere. With all of the reality TV shows currently on the air we certainly don’t need any more toxic gas.

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Tina Baker
If at First You Don't Succeed Don't Tell Your Mother-in-Law
If at First You Don't Succeed Don't Tell Your Mother-in-Law

There are many creations/inventions of the last two hundred years that help define Americans as what we are today . . . mostly spoiled, whiny brats. Some favorites on the list are the cotton gin, invisible tape (so named because we can never find it when we need it), gun racks, spray butter, cars in the driveway on concrete blocks, portable outhouses, automobiles the size of train engines, fake deer on the front lawn, and a nose hair trimmer. Numbers one and two on the list are soybean burgers and burping Tupperware lids.

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Tina Baker
What Happens When You Squeeze a Chihuahua?
What Happens When You Squeeze a Chihuahua?

I have taken CPR (Comical Pastoral Resuscitation) classes on two occasions. After each one, I was certified to save people for twelve months . . . especially if they looked like a department-store mannequin and had a plastic hose sticking out of their chest, clear plastic wrap over their mouth, a permanent smile, and no personality. In layman’s terms, it simply meant I was qualified to jump on top of people, pinch their nostrils, blow into their mouth, and beat their chest.

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Tina Baker
Judging a Father by His Shadow
Judging a Father by His Shadow

Dad, can you believe it? It doesn’t seem like it’s been 26 years since you went away. I remember it like it was yesterday. In fact, it will be 26 years exactly on June 18. We had your celebration service on the day before Father’s Day, June 18, 1994.

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Tina Baker
Anyone Can Experience the Ride of a Lifetime
Anyone Can Experience the Ride of a Lifetime

Unlike Boy Scouts, who are warned not to mix gasoline with school cafeteria burritos, I was never told about the potential side effects of mixing my delicate body with amusement park rides. Many years ago, when I had spackling compound for brains, I was a student minister.

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Tina Baker